It’s Sarah’s Birthday…April 8th

The whole area is wigging out because of the Total Eclipse and I’m just over here amazed that out of all of the days on the calendar…this is happening on Sarah’s birthday. It actually all “lines up”(see what I did there…a little eclipse humor?)-her story, the way she let her light shine during such a

On the Edge of Two Worlds

We can’t un-see what we’ve seen. We can’t ever go back to only thinking about the worldly, earthly, and temporary-not when such a big piece of our hearts has stepped across the threshold and now resides in the eternal. Honestly, I don’t want to.

Preparing to Let Go

To my friends who have recently lost or are preparing to lose their children…my heart is hurting for you.  This is not a time for platitudes and my words may mean nothing during this traumatic time and that’s ok.  I certainly am not the expert in how to prepare for such a loss.  I’ve walked a similar path, but no two stories are ever the same.  Your unique relationship with your child is precious and I know the thought of not having the tangible physical presence of your child takes your breath away. 

Numb

Grief has a way of interrupting so many things in my life.  So excuse me, for not always making my thoughts flow well and with clarity.  You see, my brain is still sometimes foggy and my memory is terrible-except for the stuff that I want to forget, but I can’t.  I have no concept of “real time.” 

September

Oh September, how I despise you now.  Once, you represented a beautiful season of life to me, but now I dread seeing you on my calendar.  Once you were a month full of back to school routines, Labor Day fun, fall festival planning, and anniversary trips.  Now, the sense of dread I feel as you approach makes my stomach turn in knots. 

Sausage Burrito

When you’re grieving for someone that you lived with–someone who was part of your “normal” every day living, for a while it clouds every aspect of living. It’s as if you go through the motions, but the “inner” you is watching life go on– all the while screaming “This isn’t right!…None of this is normal

The Pandemic of Grief

It’s shocking and heartbreaking to see so many families hurting and I can’t help but contemplate the effects of grief on our current society. Realizing that everyone’s grief journey is different, I do think there are a few things that I have learned on my own journey that I’d like to share.

Me, Without You

Some days I just can’t-

look at your pictures,
listen to your voice,
hold your things,
hear your songs…

Things I’m Learning…

I’ve been feeling quiet in my spirit. I know it’s because I’m processing so many things all at once: it’s almost been one year since Sarah’s death, trying to parent and support a 14 year old who is also dealing with grief and so much change,

Reflections On Our Trip

Life goes on, but my heart still hurts. We knew that after the hard past couple of years, that we needed to move forward and take a family trip. Usually family vacations are so fun to plan and there’s so much to look forward too, but when you’re grieving, even vacation planning looses it’s excitement. It becomes one of those things that you know is good for you, but you’re just not feeling it.